You Are Worthy

It’s one of the most popular reasons that people give when they are asked why they don’t have what they want in their lives. “I don’t deserve it.”  “I’m not worthy of it.” “I’m not good enough to have what I want.”   These reasons, and ones like them, are actually beliefs that many people hold.  These are the blocks to manifestation of everything our hearts desire.  And the worst part about it?  They are all lies.

Harsh words?  Hardly.  It is true that every person is worthy of having whatever they want to do or be or have in their life.  Not just some of us.  EVERY ONE OF US.  That includes you.  How do I know this?  It’s a basic truth.  Not some far-fetched idea – it’s just true.  If you think about it, what would make me more worthy than you are?  What makes me better than you are?  Who gets to determine that?

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all [people] are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness. “ – Thomas Jefferson, United States Declaration of Independence

It’s an idea that was written into the Declaration of Independence of the United States.  That doesn’t make it true.  It does acknowledge that in the 1700’s, this idea was something that was already being accepted as true.  Let’s just focus on the idea behind it.   All people are created equal and have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.   This means you.

If you believe you’re less than others, that is simply a story you are telling yourself.  It might be rooted in your past history, your ancestors’ histories, or even something you picked up in a past life or in the collective consciousness.  Wherever it came from, are you willing to release the story and step into your position of equality with every other person?  If you’re not ready to do that, what is stopping you?  Does it serve you to be less than others?  Does it let you off the hook – enabling you and others to lower their expectations about what you can achieve so that you can play small?  Do you feel safe being less than others?

The world is looking for your leadership.  We need your unique gifts.  Are you ready to play big?

 

Nobody is Perfect.  Everybody is Perfect.

Huh?  You may hold yourself to standards of perfection that no one can achieve.  No one, regardless of what they tell you, lives a life that is mistake free.  That’s perfection we should avoid seeking at all costs.  Sure, it’s important to get things right – some roles in our lives demand it more than others, but it is not important to never make a mistake.  If you never make a mistake, you can rest assured that you are living much smaller than you could be living.

Making mistakes is a normal part of life.  Mistakes are an indication that you are trying new things or new ways to do old things.  Mistakes show that you embrace change and that you’re willing to take a risk.  While those statements are TRUE, we can sometimes use the evidence of these mistakes as proof that we are unworthy.

The truth is that everyone, everything is perfect exactly the way it is.  If we’re not seeing the perfection, it’s not because it’s not there – it’s because the lens we are looking through is clouded with our own perceptions and judgments.  If we give ourselves and others a break and accept that no one will ever meet the mistake-free, error-free standard of perfection, we will be able to see that everything is truly perfect the way it is.  Everything has a purpose, and the purpose isn’t always what we think it is.  If we allow ourselves to accept and to “not know,” we open ourselves to knowing much more on a deeper level.

If you limit something or someone by boxing it in with your expectations, you may never have the pleasure of experiencing the unique gifts that the person or thing offers to the world.

If you have younger children or you know anyone who is a teacher, you may have some understanding of the frustration of “dealing with” some of today’s kids.  They don’t care about most of the things that our educational system was created around.  Grades don’t matter to many of them.  They have brilliant young minds, but doing the classwork or the homework is not on their list of priorities.  They wear “strange” clothing and do things like dye their hair and pierce their bodies beyond the traditional ear piercings.

We have a couple of choices, we can fight them and hate them for being different and challenging the status quo, or we can look deeper for the gift they bring.  Maybe part of the gift they bring is a loud and clear message that the educational system of old is antiquated and outdated and needs to be revised in order to effectively teach and learn from today’s children.  Perhaps our biggest error in thinking is that they are too young to teach us?

If we assume that the children are perfect, then perhaps the real thing that needs to change is our behavior.  We have the option stop judging them as other than perfect and start looking for how we can best interact with them – leaving all options open.  It gives us a chance to behave differently to appreciate them and to revise the educational services that are intended to be for their benefit.

Now THAT’S perfection.

 

Competition is an Illusion

Think about the principles of competition for a minute:

• You are generally in energetic opposition to something or someone
• Everything you do is focused on outsmarting them and winning their customers over
• Your behavior is often a response to their behavior
• You fully buy into the concept of scarcity and lack – that there’s not enough to go around
• Somebody wins and somebody loses

Is that really how you want to do business or live your life?

Of course, if we look out in the world, we see competition all of the time.  We see it in business (it helps keep prices down), in dating, in buying concert tickets.  Even though we see it out in the world frequently, competition is an illusion because it’s based on beliefs in scarcity, lack, and opposition.  What if competition is a self-fulfilling prophecy?  What if we were willing to change what we believe on this topic?

If, for instance, we stopped looking at what others are doing and we focused on what we desire to do or are being guided to do, a whole new world might open up to us.  A world that is not constrained by the ideas of someone else but that is completely allowing our own inspiration to come through.  Then, we can bring our gifts to the world in the fullest measure.

If we fully accepted our worthiness and refused to believe in scarcity and lack, things would begin to change immediately.  Not buying into the idea of recession or economic downturn has enabled some people to have the best years of their lives financially and in every other way while others are experiencing the exact opposite.  Some of that is attributed to good, old-fashioned hard work, but more of it is directly due to their not buying someone else’s limiting story.  They refuse to believe what the media tells them to believe, or whatever the “story of the day” is and everything changes.  The damage is done when we create or buy into a limiting story that comes from the evidence.

Do you think that our world would change if we gave up the belief that we have to have something to be against?  The terrorist acts in the United States of September 11, 2001 and our response to them fit into this category.  Patriotism ran high, and people united against the bad guys.  In his “Power of Intention” program, Wayne Dyer said that all through history, we have had someone to hate and that who we were “supposed to hate” has changed over the years.   The unification of 9/11/01 was really the first of that scale since the cold war ended and the US stopped being afraid that the Russians were going to take over.

United in a common goal does not have to include being against anything or anyone who is not for that common goal.  It is reported that Mother Teresa said “I will not march with you against the war; but if you have a march for peace, I will be there.”  It’s a completely different energy.   If we support the idea of everyone living up to his or her potential and even the free exchange of clients, friends, money, or any other thing we’ve viewed as limited, we can experience life in the flow.  Life in the flow means that things come easily to us, and if they go away, we can trust they will come back.  It means living in an environment where we trust that all is well at any given time and takie actions based on that trust.  It means that the people, places, and things that come to us truly resonate with us and are meant for us.  Think of how much difference that makes!

Impossible?  Is your fear that someone might take advantage of you if you behaved in this manner?  They can only take advantage if you believe that they can.  As long as you don’t put up an energy wall for them to push against, there’s nothing there for them to push against.  If you behave as if you are connected already to everything that you desire (and you really are), the only way that it can’t come to you is if you are blocking it or pushing it away.  And the best way to stop that is to recognize and live your life knowing and demonstrating that you know you are worthy to be or do or have whatever you want in life.

 

This is an Inside Job

The best way to express our worthiness into the world is to focus on what we are doing and how we are showing up in life.  Stop worrying about what everyone else is doing and simply focus on what you are doing.  Ask yourself:

• Am I living up to my capabilities? If not, why not?  If so, how do I know?
• Am I experiencing joy and happiness as a regular part of my life? If not, why not?  If so, how do I know?
• What do I really want to do that I’m not allowing myself to do ?  What limiting beliefs are keeping me from doing this?
• What’s the worst thing that would happen if I had everything I wanted?
• How is my current situation serving me?

Spend some time with these questions.  Answer them truthfully and thoughtfully, giving as much detail as possible.  Every piece of information is a clue to what’s blocking you.  Every awareness of what’s blocking you brings you one step closer to releasing it or to understanding why you refuse to release it.

If, when you ask the questions, your explanations include things that other people have done to you, recognize that these are part of a story that you are telling about why you are limited.  It’s ok to tell the story as long as you realize that you can choose to tell another story.

A story that begins “I lost my last three jobs because of my drug addiction…” can be changed to say “After losing three jobs as a result of my addiction to drugs, I decided to be the first in my family to really make something of my life…”  and the story goes on from there.  Anthony Robbins says “The past does not equal the future.”  It speaks to the possibilities that are available to us at any given time if we simply allow ourselves to know they are there, to look for them, and to see them.

The only things we have control over are what we say and do.  The best way for us to change the world is by focusing on what we are putting out into the world and then making that as close to what we want to see as possible.  Ghandi said “Be the change you want to see in the world.”  You don’t begin that change by running around trying to make everyone else be different – start with your actions, inside yourself.   If you want to see peace in the world, perhaps you can begin with seeing the perfection in everyone and releasing your judgments about them.  That should keep you busy for a while.

When we continue to ask “How can I be the highest expression of myself?” and to work toward that as it evolves over time, we will find that things change around us.  We are truly in prison if we believe that our happiness depends on other people’s behavior.  If we put all of the responsibility on determining what we can do to change things, we will be amazed at what transpires.  Often, when people don’t have your negative energy to push against, they stop pushing and problems, that once were mountains, disappear.

 

Change What You Believe is Possible

One of the biggest ways that we limit ourselves is in the broad category I call “What you believe is possible.”  We are often unaware of the rules that we have adopted to guide our lives.  We act as if they are unchangeable – written in stone.  Often, we don’t try to do things because we can’t even conceive that they might be possible.

Back in the day, we used to speak of Roger Bannister who, on May 6, 1954, ran the mile in under four minutes – 3:59.4.  Prior to this, no one had ever run a mile in under four minutes.  Once he broke the barrier, it enabled others to realize it was possible and to achieve a similar result.  Roughly 54 years later, an example of achieving something that no one thought was possible is illustrated with the performance of swimmer Michael Phelps in the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing.  Phelps holds the record for the most gold medals won in a single Olympics.

On August 16, 2008, the night before his final race, he had 7 gold medals and was being interviewed on NBC.  The announcer asked him if he really thought he could win 8 medals, giving Phelps the opportunity to say something like “Well, it’s a long shot.  I don’t know if I’ll be able to do it or not.”   Instead, Michael Phelps paused, looked down, looked back up and replied “That has always been my dream, and that is my goal.”  He refused to allow anyone else’s belief about what was possible to cloud the vision he had for himself.  The next day, he won his eighth gold medal.

Cyclist Lance Armstrong is another face of changing what is possible in more than one area.  He won the Tour de France 7 times, more than any other person.  This amazing achievement came, at least in part, by his ability to overcome testicular cancer that had spread to his brain and lungs.  When he realized that he was not limited by conventional medical wisdom, a whole new world opened up for him.

When we change what we believe is possible, everything else changes.  New opportunities present themselves and miracles happen.  The best way to begin changing what you believe is possible is to ask yourself:

• What is limiting me?
• What if that weren’t a limitation?

Asking the second question allows you to determine where the real underlying block is.  The actual block is likely to be your belief.  Remember, if you are here to do something unique – in a way that no one else has ever done it, you can’t get there by looking at what’s been done in the past.  You have to look in the moment to what is asking to be expressed through you.  It doesn’t matter if it’s silly or people think it’s strange.  For a long time, people thought the world was flat.  Who knew, just a few years ago, that we could use one device to make phone calls, check e-mail, listen to music, browse the internet, give us directions for driving, keep our to-do list, and on and on?

There is creativity and inspiration waiting to be expressed through you.  What do you need to allow it to emerge?

Once you know what you need, you can begin to bring it into your life, simply by giving energy to it.  Focus on what you want – not on what you don’t want.  Know that it’s already connected to you, and you are already connected to it, so don’t focus with the idea that it’s not here.  Put your energy out there in gratitude that it is in your life right now and take action as if you are already where you want to be.

 

Breaking Free From the Fear of Change

These days, fearing change is about like fearing breathing in and out or being afraid of the sunrise.  It’s going to happen with or without your consent.  In our lifetimes, we’ve had more distinct change than probably any other time in history.  So, what is it that makes us still fear it so much?

We become attached to our circumstances, whether good or bad.  They are familiar to us.  We sometimes feel safe, even in unsafe situations.  Years ago, when I was a crisis counselor for battered women, understanding this was one of the biggest challenges for me.  When I heard the stories from women who were experiencing severe domestic voilence, I couldn’t imagine why someone would stay in that situation.  Often they said, “I don’t know what will happen if I leave.  At least if I stay, I know what it will be like.”  It took me a little time to get it, but I completely understand it now.

Conventional wisdom used to say that people feared public speaking more than they feared death.  Perhaps we sometimes fear change more than death.  This fear of change is simply a misunderstanding.  We are confused about what will happen if we let go and flow with the change.  We may believe that change makes it harder for us to maintain our identity because we often identify ourselves in relationship to other things.  Recently, with the huge numbers of layoffs, there are so many people who have lost their identity as a corporate executive, a secretary, a mechanic, a drywaller.  Who they were was dependent on the job they did; the job is now gone, so now they are nothing.  Or sometimes it feels that way.

The rate of change we are experiencing requires us to understand our identity without regard to external sources.  If we focus on aligning ourselves with who we really are, we align ourselves with the change, and we stop resisting it.  The biggest misconception is that things will change for the worst.  If that’s what we look for, we might not be able to tell when things are actually better!  If we leave it to the Universe, the most amazing things can happen.  How do we know who we really are?  Ask!  Ask for the highest truth about who you are and listen to what you hear.  If it’s mean and critical, rest assured that you have not gotten the highest truth.

Our imagination is limited.  The possibilities of the Universe are so varied that there is always something MUCH better than what we’ve imagined.  When we stop resisting the change and remember who we truly are, we can let those magnificent things in.

 

Keys to Remembering

The real challenge around this worthiness issue is not the knowing that you are worthy part, it’s the REMEMBERING that you are worthy of being or doing or having whatever you’d like.  Here are some ways to help you remember how amazing you are:

• Post visual reminders around you – on the bathroom mirror, the computer, in your car – anywhere you spend a lot of time.  This can be reflected with handwritten notes to yourself or printed quotes or pictures – whatever works for you.

• When in doubt, write it out!   Sometimes it’s helpful to journal about how you’re feeling.  It helps to have the intention of accessing the absolute Truth and having that come out of your keyboard or your pen.  It’s amazing how different the information can be when you ask “What is the highest truth about this?”  It takes you out of yourself and your story and opens you to a bigger vision.

• Spend time around positive, supportive people.  If you’re hanging out with pessimists or people who exhibit victim mentality, remember that energy is contagious.  The more low-level energies you are around, the more likely you are to experience lower level energy for yourself that translates into forgetting you are worthy of achieving.  This includes spending a lot of time around people who think you are wonderful but who hate themselves.  Again, it’s contagious.

• Make self-care a part of your daily routine – EVERY DAY.  This is an easy way to reinforce to yourself that you mean what you say and that you can be trusted.  The more you trust yourself, the easier it is to remember you are worthy.  Self care can be as small as taking a minute a couple of times a day to just stop and re-center in your body.

• Clear your limiting beliefs.  There are many ways to do this.  One simple way is to start with a blank sheet of paper with a line drawn vertically down the center.  Make two columns:  “Lies about Me” and “Truth about Me”.  Again, with the intention of working with the highest truth, list everything you can come up with that fits into either category.  Next, review your list – asking “Is this really true?  How do I know?”  Don’t spend a lot of time focused on an actual event – instead focus on what you believe about yourself because of the event.  (i.e., if you were fired from a job, that may be an indisputable truth.  What you took from that “I don’t deserve to be trusted.” is a belief that can be changed.)  It may also help to think about someone you really love a lot and to act as if you are doing this exercise for them – you may be more likely to be gentle with them.  Write down beliefs that you held that are not true and say “I release these beliefs that are no longer serving me.”  Then burn the list and let them go.

• Pay attention to what you’re allowing into your consciousness.  If you spend a lot of time focused on bad things that are happening in the world, it’s less likely that you will have a positive outlook of any sort for yourself.  While you may not want to stop watching/listening/reading the news forever, you might benefit from a break while you feed your mind positive and inspirational information.

• Give yourself a break.  Remember you are doing the best you can in any given moment.  If you feel like you can do better in the next moment, strive for some specific ways to improve.  Don’t use this as an excuse to criticize and beat yourself up.

• Spend some time really giving thought to what you want.  It doesn’t matter what you put on your list.  Don’t worry about being too materialistic.  You can want whatever you want.  The challenge for many people is that they have forgotten that truth.  Sometimes it takes writing outrageous things on your list to get in the swing of remembering that you can have what you want.  As you practice this and refine it, you may find that your list changes from wanting a lot of things to wanting to act a certain way or to live your purpose energetically.  It’s all a part of your path.  The first step begins with exercising your “desire muscle”.

 

Where Do I Go From Here?

Lather.  Rinse.  Repeat.  These were the words that created twice as much consumption of shampoo, and these are the words, in a manner of speaking, that will help you keep remembering that you are worthy of having whatever you want in life!  Keep working on yourself (Lather).  Clear your limiting energy blocks (Rinse).  Do it over and over again (Repeat). Open to new ways of clearing out your mental (and physical) clutter and take the actions required to do it!  It doesn’t help you as much to simply know about something that works.  It really helps you if you actually use what you know!

Most importantly, know that help is available for you if you ask for it.  After you ask for it, open to receive it.  It may not come from the place you think it should come from, but it will come.  It may take many forms, so watch to see where it shows up in your life.  Look for new people you resonate with.  Sometimes it’s easier to have new people in your life than it is to expect the old ones will change along with you!  There are so many resources available to you both in person and on the internet.  Find people you like and trust and work with them to do whatever it is that you want to do.

If you forget all of this for a moment or a day or a month, (or even for a year) be gentle with yourself.  This is not a race.  This is YOUR life!  Everything will happen at the exact time you are ready for it to happen.  Just don’t let yourself be convinced that it’s not the right time when the reality is that you’re afraid to play bigger than you’ve been playing!

Never, ever forget that you can do this.  It’s easier than you think and the results are priceless!

 

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Nancie Welsh Benson, Change Consultant and Alignment Specialist, is a Reiki Master Teacher and an ordained minister.  She has also studied, practiced and taught ThetaHealing and is a hospice volunteer. She brings nearly 20 years of her own education and self-exploration to helping individuals change what they believe is possible in order to clear beliefs on cognitive, physical and energetic levels. In this process, she also utilizes her finely honed skills garnered from 20 years in corporate finance.

She is an expert in identifying and changing limiting beliefs as well as how those beliefs impact what a person is attracting into their lives, either good or bad. A spiritual counselor, mentor and best-selling published author, Nancie assists people in moving out of their comfort zones and into greater alignment with themselves in every area of life from relationships, career and money to dealing with serious illness and end of life issues. Having lost over 100 pounds herself as part of her spiritual journey, she is also uniquely qualified to help others in their desires to overcome adversity.

Her sense of humor, ability to explain things in easy-to-understand words, and her easy going personality make her a popular speaker and workshop leader and a delight to have on radio.

For a personalized individual healing/clearing session contact Nancie at Nancie@NancieBenson.com or 919-357-5624.

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